Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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