dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
