i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
