just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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