i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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