At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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