Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Please, let me fuck your mom
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
