break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
