we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
