how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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