I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Randomize