You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!