My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.