I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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