So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
i think im in europe. pls send help
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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