Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
