Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
