he wants to bone in the snuggie
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
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