That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
