Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
