dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
COCAINE IS GR8
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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