atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
