before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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