PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
