Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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