Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
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