Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I need to align my fucking chakras
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
