Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
