you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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