I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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