You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Blood and glitter go together right?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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