Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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