i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
