hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The power of my boobs compel you
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