K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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