There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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