Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
