I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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