She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i drank out of a bidet.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
