9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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