ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
