If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come