Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher