I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
