I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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