She went from zero to smokin in five shots
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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