did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
