he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
be right there i have to get my cape
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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