i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I need to stop coming to work sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize