So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
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Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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