So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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