Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
