Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
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