So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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