time to smoke my breakfast
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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