I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize