I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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