U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
