I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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