hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Of course I have a pirate flag
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
jump out the window naked night went bad
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
