Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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