Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
If I die, sorry about rent.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
