its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
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And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
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I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Someone signed my nipple.
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