oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
