yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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